We control what we think.
I wasn’t moving much today.
I wanted to slow down and process everything that has been happening in my life lately.
There are a lot of things on my plate right now.
Relationships.
Responsibilities.
Leadership.
Personal struggles.
Questions I still don’t have answers to.
And as I sat with all of it today, I realized something:
Instead of trying to reduce the weight on my plate, I decided to strengthen my capacity to carry it.
Looking back years from now, I think this might become one of those defining moments in my life.
The type of moment where growth happened because of adversity.
The type of moment where the pressure itself became the teacher.
Right now, the main thing I am exercising is not my body.
It’s my thinking.
I am consciously directing my mind toward goodness, possibility, and the brightness of the future.
Not because life is easy.
But because I know it isn’t.
Maybe things are not supposed to be easy.
If they were, everyone would do them.
Maybe the fire exists to test our character and reveal who we are becoming.
Lately, I have been struggling with how to keep my relationships healthy and intact.
How to make the people closest to me feel seen, supported, and cared for.
This is probably the area where I feel the most inadequate right now.
And I think God is teaching me something through it.
But as I reflected today, I arrived at a realization.
Before I can properly lead others, I must lead myself.
Before I can make others feel okay, I must make sure that I am okay too.
Before I can bring peace to the people around me, I must first cultivate peace within myself.
Because if I don’t feel aligned with my own decisions, then what is the point of everything?
I have learned that self-leadership is not selfishness.
It is responsibility.
The stronger and healthier I become internally, the more capable I become of carrying the people and responsibilities entrusted to me.
And perhaps that is the lesson.
Not to avoid hardship.
Not to run from burden.
But to become the type of person capable of holding it.
I know I can carry all of this.
Not because I am strong on my own.
But because every pain, burden, and uncertainty eventually gets lifted back to the One I serve.
The One who gives meaning to my life.
The One who reminds me that I do not carry these things alone.
Knowing that, my chest feels lighter.
My heart feels at peace.